Order of Operations
Values | Goals | Decisions | Actions
I have had tens of thousands of conversations with clients over the years and, in all of it, I’ve found that few set goals and fewer understand why they have the goals they’ve set. I’ve worked with people who, by all social measures, are successful, yet, through introspection and reflection, recognize that the success they’ve obtained isn’t related to what they actually feel is important. That’s like, as Stephen Covey put it, climbing a ladder to the top only to later realize the ladder was leaned up against the wrong wall.
One of the most common examples I’ve seen and talked clients through is this: Person grew up in a household with little money. Food was scarce, clothes were shabby, and always heard parents fight about money. As they got older they made a vow that they would make lots of money and that their kids would have a better childhood than they did. Fast-forward 40 years and we are talking about their life and the wealth they’ve accumulated. They drive a nice car, wear nice clothes, go on great vacations. Their kids don’t get made fun of for their clothes, are spoiled with a fridge full of food, and got to go on plenty of trips. However, once we get past the money conversation and move into the motivator, uncovering what is truly important, the client begins to realize that maybe they successfully climbed a ladder leaned up against the wrong wall. Yeah, their kids had nice stuff, but they still heard the money fights (just in a different context). Yeah, they went on vacations, but dad was never present because he was always working. Looking at it this way, now they aren’t sure if their kid is all that happy and chances are, despite plenty of money, their kids probably had a worse childhood than they had.
So how do you combat this? It starts with anchoring in Values, what is truly important to you and the motivator of what you’re doing. In the example above, the value was facilitating a good life for their family. The money and stuff was never the driver, it was only meant to be a tool to help facilitate what they intended. Yet, due to a lack of intentionality, they were distracted and derailed, all the while thinking they were doing the things they needed to. Goals can be deceiving like that. Goals aren’t the end. Goals simply inform the best next step. Losing 20 pounds is a goal; being healthy so you can hike and run with you kids and grandkids is the value. If losing 20 pounds was the end-all, then taking unhealthy measures to achieve this would make as much logical sense as creating a healthy lifestyle does. Getting back to it, start with understanding your Values, what is truly important to you. Who do you want to be? That will inform all that comes next. From there, establish goals. Again, goals simply inform the best next step. Goals change, and that’s ok. Set a goal, take a step in line with it, then another step, then another. If the goal changes (for good reason), great, start taking steps in line with the new goal. Once you’ve set goals, you have to make decisions. Everything in life requires a decision, demands tradeoffs, and has opportunity cost. Make decisions intentionally and informed. Then take action. Go. Do. Be.
Values
Values is your purpose, the why in what you do. We start with understanding what is of most importance to you, set this as the anchor of our planning, and continually reference this with each goal set, decision made, and action taken. After countless conversations, I’ve come to find that very few people actually understand why they do what they do. This often leads to people being wildly successful in something completely out of line with what they initially intended. That’s like climbing a ladder to only realize it was leaned against the wrong wall. Sure you climbed real high, but you still didn’t get to where you wanted to end up. Let’s start with and continually align with your why.
Decisions
Everything in life requires a decision, mandates tradeoffs, and has opportunity cost. If you choose one thing, you are, intentionally or unintentionally, giving up another. In his book, Essentialism, Greg McKeown states that “Essentialists see trade-offs as an inherent part of life. Instead of asking, ‘What do I have to give up?’ they ask, ‘What do I want to go big on?’.” We help our clients distinguish opportunities from distractions, consider the tradeoffs, and to make decisions intentionally
Goals
A goal’s purpose is to inform the next action to take and to provide context for our decisions. The thing is, goals change, and that’s ok. There are plenty of studies that illustrate the power of goal-setting, yet many people don’t set goals. Perhaps this is for fear of feeling tied to a goal that, in the future, is no longer deemed of importance; or maybe its just difficult to imagine what to expect or hope for “one day.” I give you permission to let go of trying to pinpoint what exactly you will do “one day”, and to simply to set intentions, goals that will inevitably look different in the future, just as your current goals look different than the one you set 10 years ago. The goals we set will simply determine our best next step.
Actions
It’s time to act. The best planning is worthless without meaningful action. Meaningful action is acting in a manner that is aligned and consistent with the goals that have been established. I once heard someone say that a hypocrite is someone who’s actions don’t align with their identify. We help our clients consistently take actions that are consistent with who they are and what they seek to accomplish. We help our clients take meaningful action, because we anchor into what is meaningful to their lives.
